Its weird, with social media all the “friends” people have that are really just people we used to know. I’ve managed to “reconnect” with many of the people I went to school with, some since grade school, some only since high school. Some who were my closest friends but now are simply people I used to know.
How do we lose close friends? How do best friends forever become people we used to know? There are “frenemies” that I wish I could actually be friends with, people who I’ll never trust again, and people I wish I had been closer with from the beginning. So now that I’m “friends” with them, how do we foster relationships when its been years since we last talked?
How do you convince people you may not have been all that nice to, or that weren’t the nicest to you, that as adults you would like to be friends? As an Army wife I’m stuck moving fairly regularly, and many of these people are also affiliated with the military and are moving often in opposite directions fairly regularly, which means hanging out face to face is often not an option. So how do you truly reconnect with people via social media? Should you?
One of my best friends is in the Army, another is married to the Army. Both are stationed in other states, one I haven’t seen in person in almost 8 years, and one in almost a year. Thankfully social media means we can easily see pictures of each other’s kids, families, and stay in touch. In these relationships social media has helped keep our relationships alive, thriving, and close. But how can social media be used to foster new friendships. How do you know when someone accepts your “friend request” they want to be friends with you? So far I have rekindled an acquaintance with one classmate and that is because she was equally tenacious in rekindling our friendship.
So when it comes to using electronic communication and social media to truly connect with people we used to know, I’ll start like this, if anyone I went to high school, grade school, or intermediate school with reads this, and I’ve sent you a friend request in the last year. I would like to actually foster a friendship with you.
I realize having a pitty party probably isn’t REALLY obligatory but when the most common joke made about you is how you need a bubble, I think it is. Yep that’s the most common joke (although lately it has become less of a joke) made about me. The other comment I hear A LOT is “you can’t drink? That must suck”. Really? Why would you say that? Just because I’m an Army/Stay-home wife/mom and we now live in a society where not joining in on the consumption of alcohol is strange, doesn’t mean it sucks to feel left out almost every day. Yes the sarcasm is strong in the post. But yes EVERY DAY I have to overcome the urge to try a drink in hopes it wouldn’t kill me (I have an anaphylactic allergy to alcohol).
But the pitty party isn’t really about my inability to drink, it’s about that damn bubble. So this may be TMI but here’s my laundry list of health complaints, I’ve more bad Pap smears then I care to count, at least 4 colposcopies with biopsies, a LEEP procedure (where they shave the top layer of my cervix), knee surgery, multiple dislocated knee caps (on both knees), have sprained both my mcl and lcl in the same knee at the same time, chronic migraines, weather migraines (as in I can tell you if there’s a storm building), I have fibromyalgia, a factor 1 deficiency (specifically dysfibrinogenenmia), cold urticaria (I’m allergic to being cold), the afore mentioned alcohol allergy, the list of medications I’m allergic to is quite impressive and makes most doctors pause, TMJ, and most recently severe neck muscles spams that get so bad I can’t turn my head.
These neck spasms are so bad that I get weekly trigger point injections and biweekly physical therapy. Which okay it sucks but I’m sucking it up and trying to get better. But then this last weekend I hit a wall and couldn’t turn my head. And here’s where the pitty party starts, every time I get hurt and start to get better I get more hurt.
I’m not talking about oh the pain is gonna get worse before you get better, I’m talking a new injury or a serious few steps back. For example when I sprained my mcl and lcl in my left knee I was almost through with physical therapy when I (getting up from sitting on the floor, nothing exotic, fun, or dangerous) dislocated my left knee. Are you kidding me?!? And the kicker is I have yet to find any doctor who can tell me why I keep getting hurt, constantly. I promise as much as I might like to it’s not from doing ANYTHING fun. And while yes I do need/want to lose a few pounds I’m not so overweight that everyday life should hurt me. My neck is so bad, I can’t pick up my own child. That kills me, and the fact that she knows what it means to have a headache, or my that my knee hurts. My 3.5 year old tries to take care of me. And it breaks my heart.
My husband has joked in the past about trading me in for a newer model, but lately I’ve actually wondered if he and my daughter wouldn’t be better off with someone who is well and since I can’t seem to get there regardless of how much or how little work I do.
I have given up coca-cola, and caffeine in general, fast food, and most processed junk. Of course I’m human so I could always eat better but I actually eat fairly well. I drink like 80-90 ounces of water a day. I also do my physical therapy as directed, and do yoga 2-3 times a week. I was trying to ease back into running but with my neck have been instructed not to so I’m trying to walk 1-2 miles 2-3 times a week. But it feels like it’s a for naught.
Can it be easy yet? Okay pitty party over.