A Fall of Self Exploration


If you were to take a look at my nightstand you’d never know that I’m wading into a period of self exploration. But if you were to peak into my electronic readers well they would tell a decidedly different story. I currently have 4 ways to read ebooks and am reading, what I consider to be, the best self help books possible. I’m reading The Art of War, Tao Te Ching, Bhagavad Gita, and The Holy Bible ESV.
Here is the controversial part, I feel that three of these books help me to talk to MY God, and three of these books help me to relate to the world around me. I say they help me talk to MY God because I respect the fact that we may not have the same perception of God or the same God. But since I’m sure we sin differently and that’s okay, having different Gods is okay too, at least in my world.
If I were to add a fifth book I would add The 5 Love Languages, I would add this because I have found it to be exceedingly helpful when attempting to communicate productively with my husband and child. But since I’m in school I’m going to have to go with Decoding The Ethic Code as my fifth book, although it isn’t quite as interesting in my opinion.
Why am I embarking on a fall of self exploration you ask? And why do I think anyone cares? Well as far as the world caring that may come from deeply buried illusions of grandeur and well we’re just gonna leave that alone and assume that since you are reading this you do care or are at least nosey and curious enough to keep reading.
I’m embarking on this fall of self exploration because I have been struggling to be healthy and happy and with all the set backs and ups and downs of life have lost sight of go I am, who I want to be, and who I want the world to see.
I don’t feel those three are the same nor do they need to be. Although I think to find happiness there needs to be some common ground among them. And this is what I’m trying to find this fall. Not really why I chose fall since, well Roll Tide, but since I did here we go!
I started recently on my trek to fix my jaw (I have TMJ) and hopefully by mid-September will be done with that. But I am also struggling with an over-zealous period and am restarting the journey to solve that problem, thankfully I have a GREAT primary care doctor who is helping me to manage my fibromyalgia and a wonderful hematologist who patiently answers any and all of my questions about my dysfibrinogenemia. I honestly am hoping that once my TMJ has be fixed and my bilaterally dislocated jaw is repaired I won’t need to see my neurologist as often and that by this winter I will be securely on the road to physical health, so I want to take this fall and ensure I will also be on the road to mental and emotional health as well.
Well that’s enough medicated rambling from me for the time being. And just for haha’s here is a pic of me about 12hours post diagnostic scope! Smoochies!!

The Beauty of PubMed


So in the whirlwind of life I successfully completed my first term of grad school and my kiddo starts school in a couple of days. I also survived a (TMI Alert) 3 week period, and the hubby being gone for the month of July. But I did have a week off between classes and I took the opportunity to do some research. Not the normal plug a phrase or word into google type of research, but the type of research that makes my geeky, nerdy heart nearly burst with happiness, peer reviewed, published research! I admittedly am a teeny, tiny, little, itty bitty PubMed addict. It all started in the lab tech program when I was introduced to PubMed by my immunology/biotechnology professor.
What am I so addictively researching you might ask, well the fun diagnoses I’ve been give. I started with the fibromyalgia, I had previously tried one medication but it unfortunately gave me suicidal thoughts (which is kind of weird when you never had one before, it’s almost like an out of body experience). And my doc told me that was all he could prescribe and basically, best wishes. So I started looking at other medications to help me cope with my symptoms because I had discovered that…dun Dun DUN…fibro can flare!
I then went on to research my rarer diagnoses which is tied to my (TMI Alert) 3 week period, my dysfibrinogenemia. Oh, I’m sorry you haven’t heard of dysfibrinogenemia? Well don’t worry, many doctors and health care professionals haven’t. It is a 1 in 1 million disease, that means that there are approximately 317 other people in the United States with this disease. The best part is of the 318 of us there are still approximately 100 know symptom variations. Basically fibrinogen is used in they clotting process to stabilize the clot. While I have the normal amount of fibrinogen, mine just doesn’t work properly, which means I need to be careful because when I get hurt or have surgery it might look like I’ve clotted okay but a couple days later I could hemorrhage. Which has actually happened to me. Also I bruise stupidly easily (let’s just say the hubby and 95+% of our friends think I need a bubble and I’ve had at least one doc agree), and have those aforementioned wretched ( because really how else do you describe 3 weeks of bleeding) periods.
The last thing I researched is my cold urticaria, which is an allergy to the cold. Not that I don’t like the cold (which allergy aside I really do) but an actual allergy to the cold. When I get cold I develop hives, and my whole body aches, gets itchy, I run a fever and if left long enough I can have an anaphylaxis response. I discovered that this relatively rare allergy, is often genetically inherited. But is also easily diagnosed with an ice cube, so 5 very wiggly minutes later, my daughter is good to go and definitely not following in my footsteps.
Well now that school has started again I’m trying to keep up with life and my school work but hopefully thanks to a new fibromyalgia med and muscle relaxer I’ll be working with less daily, chronic pain. Unfortunately my new med has made me ravenously, eat your face off hungry so I’m going to be having to practice self restraint and increase my activity levels in order to combat this constant wanting to eat. So here’s to 90oz of water and daily yoga! Chink chink!